DUES, THE PROS AND CONS
DUES, THE PROS AND CONS
Many more moons ago than I would like to admit, I remember coming to New York as a rather young impressionable musician. Luckily for me, I happened to move to New York at a time when many of my compadres from Boston decided also to make the move to this place we considered "The Mecca of Jazz". It was a time when rent was affordable and for me, a time to experience musical expression beyond all my imaginable dreams. I found myself involved in the New York loft scene which meant that at any time, and on any given night, I and many of my musical partners, some of whom have gone on to “Jazz Stardom”, would gather at a friend’s loft and begin jamming around midnight, playing sometimes continuously throughout the night. Around 8 or 9 AM we would pack up and go home, catch some sleep, maybe regroup around 2 or 3 in the afternoon, play at someone else’s apartment for a few hours and at night start again about the same time repeating the whole cycle over. Some of the guys, however would go to their part time jobs, then go home, get a couple hours of sleep and show up at the night session. Sometimes we took a break from the usual bashing and went to a jazz club to check out any number of great players around town at that time...Woody Shaw, Freddie Hubbard, Joe Henderson and the like. I remember standing near the bar at Sweet Basils. My friends and I were squeezed into a spot along with about 75 other people. This area could comfortably fit about 25 people but here, there was no cover and as we hoped to blend in with the crowd, we could probably get away with sipping at one beer all night long, praying that the bartender wouldn't notice us and bug us to buy another....no money....these were lean times. It was sleep, eat and drink music.
Though our main objective at the time was to experiment and improve upon our music skills, we also had to be concerned with that minor thing known as survival. Unfortunately, that meant earning money. For many of us, this entailed having to do things not necessarily at the top of our list of activities....ie. cabs, telemarketing, part time work...whatever it took. For me, I was somewhat lucky to be involved with a club date office (wedding bands) which meant my weekends were spent playing music that was somewhat less inspiring and certainly not the type that I had come to New York for...but none-the-less it was “Music”....and I was at least playing my instrument.
I can distinctly remember, however, rushing to a club date on Long Island in the 90 degree heat of summer. I was late, sweating (no AC in those days) and stopped in traffic on the LIE. I, at that very moment, promised myself that if and when I reach the age of 35, and if having to still do this type of work (club dates), I would rethink my future as a musician. As I sat in the heat of traffic, I thought 35 yrs. old would be a good age at which point to, if things hadn't changed for the better, reconsider my purpose as a professional musician. If and when that time would ever arise, I could at least allow myself the option of doing something completely alienated from music in order to sustain myself and my family. This way, I would no longer have to rely on playing music that was, what I thought to be, below the level I had strived for...for many years. After all, for the four years I went to Berklee and some years after that, I practiced my instrument for not less then 10 to 12 hours a day. I was seriously dedicated to being the best. At that time, creativity and individuality as a player was my ultimate goal and being involved in doing club dates was certainly not bringing me any closer to fulfilling those goals. The more deeply I became involved in the club date scene, the more frustrated I became, musically.
During my early years in New York, doing club dates did however, help somewhat in sustaining me financially in at least allowing me to pay a few bills. Fortunately, I was able to hook up an occasional $30 jazz gig for that much needed artistic fulfillment. As that dreaded monthly cycle known as "bill time" continuously crept around the corner I, more often then not, found myself scuffling to make ends meet. As I think back I remember times of being confused and many nights lying awake not being able to make sense of my musical career. I had practiced and practiced my instrument for hours and hours and still couldn’t attain the point at which I would be satisfied, both musically and financially. I remember walking around, anxiety ridden and somewhat distraught. I knew that the whole music thing was effecting my health but somehow could not pull myself up out of this unbearable slump.
To make things worse, I remember an incident that, in the beginning seemed like a high note but in reality, turned out to be a low Eb. I received a phone call from Horace Silver...at that time one of my musical heroes. He introduced himself to me then said that Mike Brecker had given him my name and number. He asked if I would be interested in playing with his band. This, you must realize, came at a point when I was seriously thinking twice about staying in music full time. This was to be my rescue and I finally thought, man, this call has finally made all the hard work and frustration worth while. This was an extreme up for me. I walked around for a day on cloud 9. He asked that I come down to Lynn Oliver’s rehearsal studio...he gave me the time.....No Problem! I’ll be there an hour early and with all the equipment that I relied on to feel comfortable...ie. bass drum pedal, Hi Hat stand etc. I thought, "Man, I finally made it"...Wow, Horace Silver...YEA!
I remember walking down 7th Ave., schlepping my cymbal bag and trap case. As I approached the studio, probably about a block away, I saw what seemed like a gathering of numerous people outside the front door. The closer I got to the studio I noticed that many of these people were carrying cymbal bags and some were supporting upright basses. My bright moment was about to come tumbling down. I reached the gathering and realized that Horace was not calling me to play with his band but to come down for an audition. As I went into the rehearsal room I saw about 75 drummers and 100 bass players, all crammed into one small space. Horace was allowing each one to play about 2 to 4 bars of music and then abruptly going on to the next victim. With each consecutive victim, the embarrassing vibe got worse. WHAT A DRAG!
Needless to say I took one short look at what was happening and decided to split. I felt I had put too much work into my instrument and my art to be subjected to such humiliation. This incident brought me back to where I was before...frustrated and distraught.
Over the years and through many hard times, I stayed with music, striving to be my best. I have eventually arrived at a place in my career where I have become somewhat comfortable and now enjoy playing the type of music that gives me artistic fulfillment. It has been a long, sometimes frustrating road. I have made many mistakes along the way, however in doing so, made a serious effort in learning from them. I have always tried to turn a negative situation into a positive one and when times get rough, it only makes me work harder at self-improvement.
I now feel that because of all the obstacles along the way, I appreciate on a much higher level, the things that I have attained. I have friends that have not had to work as hard towards their goals and who now seem to be extremely discontent with their present situations, be it musical or otherwise. Sometimes when you have not had to struggle for what you want, you somehow don’t appreciate what you have. I can honestly say that at this point in my life and because of all the mountains I have had to climb, both musically and financially, an appreciation for what I now possess is at a much higher level. In reality, sometimes the grass is not so greener on the other side. However difficult it may seem at times...the harder you work, the larger the reward.....GO FOR IT!
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